How It Really Feels To Watch Yourself Have an Emotional Breakdown

Whitney Thore is used to the cameras by now. But that doesn't mean watching herself have a tearful breakdown on TV is any easier.

The My Big Fat Fabulous Life star opened up to E! News about the Tuesday, Jan. 29 episode that not only featured her worried that her longtime pal Buddy had a drug relapse, but it also featured her having a surprisingly candid chat with him about her quest to become a mother.

"It's easier, I think, than people might think because I know my crew very well and we're close, and a lot of them have been with me for multiple seasons, and so in that way—that's something the audience would never see—it doesn't feel as invasive because I actually know these people," Thore told E! News about letting her guard down in the scene above.


"But, yeah, it can still be difficult, and at the same time I kind of know that's what I signed up for. So, if I ever wanting to be vulnerable, I just remind myself to just go with it," she added.

And that entire conversation she had with Buddy wasn't planned. "I actually didn't want to have that conversation, I just found myself starting to cry and I was like, ‘Well, here we go!'" she said with a laugh.

Thore said she's willing to let cameras follow her every move and document her life, warts and all, to help viewers at home.

"Even things I've been most embarrassed or most upset about, I hear from people from all over the world literally every day. 

Sometimes it's really small things that I never really thought would matter to people, and then other times it's the really big things, the bigger things that we explore. I kind of want to put my own ego aside, if that makes sense, because I do believe the show is helping people and that representation helps people, especially in countries where the show airs where there's way less representation of fat women than we have here in the States. I just remind myself there's a bigger purpose behind it and I try not to get upset or anything," she said.





E!