Is Johnny Depp Actually the Real-Life Mad Hatter?

At E! They've have just discovered one of Hollywood's deepest and darkest secrets; one that the industry has been conspiring to keep hidden for years. It's time to blow the lid off this evil scheme once and for all. Gird your loins, because this is going to be shocking.

Johnny Deppis actually the Mad Hatter.

We know, we know. It's a hard pill to swallow. But what about his short-lived divorce to Amber Heard? Make-believe characters can't get married, you say. But they can! And what about that dog smuggling fiasco? The Mad Hatter would never do that, you say. But he would!

We have spent the past week uncovering this mystery, and we're here to present you our findings. We're digging deep through all the evidence, and we think you'll agree that only one single conclusion can be found.

First, let's think about the wardrobe. Flamboyant vest, obscenely wide collars, colors not found in nature, kicky yet unnecessary hat. We describe not a scene from Alice Through the Looking Glass, but the every day duds of Johnny Depp himself. While the world has been operating under the assumption that the actor simply preferred to dress like a 1920's bootlegging gangster on vacation in Havana, it would appear we have been duped. It has actually been the real Mad Hatter's attempt at disguising himself as a non-fairy tale human man. Just look for yourself—with your eyes wide open this time.

Here is the Hatter arriving to Jimmy Kimmel's show last fall, waving at his best pal, The March Hare. (He's hiding, obviously.)

And here is the Mad Hatter, sporting his signature hat, collar, and laughably oversized jacket, alongside former costar and Depp Truther Dakota Johnsonat the Hollywood Film Awards. At first glance it would appear he is acknowledging all the fans who have awarded "Johnny" with praise and trophies for Black Mass, when in actuality he is tipping his hat to the fools he has managed to deceive about his true identity. The Mad Hatter loves a mind game!


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